Goals

1) Get a job (By mid-next year)
2) Become a better person (Comes into effect immediately, so everybogy I know, please yell at me when I become negative, it is time I stopped that)
3) Join some sort of exercise/therapy/something club (By end of next year)
4) Make sure that everyone I know knows that I love them (Immediate)
5) Check to make sure that people are at the very least (Immediate)
6) Get some sort of clothing taste (:| End of next year)
7) Help out more with everyone (End of this year)
See things with rose-coloured spectacles (End of this year… but preferably immediately)
9) Be more sociable and/or a better friend/sister/daughter/relative/etc. (Immediate, so, be prepared for me asking questions to understand you more. Sorry for any inconvenience caused, feel free to refuse)
10) Be more generous (By mid-year next year, when I have a relatively steady income)
11) Random acts of kindness (Whenever possible)

That’s all I can think of for now… I’ll add on when I remember… But this time, I’m going to do this… I’m going to be strong about this … I hope I can do this…

 

I love you all ^^ So very very very very very much… <3

 

Hi Jasmin

Surprise! I blogged… Happy now??
THANK YOU SO MUCH ^^ <3 You made my day darling~

Happy birthday Shannon honey!! ^^ Sweet 16… And all old… ;D Anyways… Your present is coming on Saturday… Just because… I have it sitting on my desk if you want to have a look… xD
Btw, you make REALLY nice cookies! ^^

LOLOL at the blog stats thing… It’s like a sin graph, but the s0rt that Mr Campbell complains about… xD
Oh god… T_T Maths is too deeply involved in my life… LOL at Mr Allan’s thing about maths and science… ;D

Hmm~ I randomly feel like doing one of those running and jumping into a hug things… :S

 

Anyways, I’ve blogged… for the first time in ages… And yeah… Bye~

 

P.S. Jasmin, your email didn’t come through…

 

Ramblings

Ok well, long time no blog… It’s a strange feeling, blogging. I want to blog all the time, but just taking the time to word my thoughts and feelings seem to defeat the whole purpose of my mind.

Hmm, just looking out the glass back doors, I see my fluff ball of a dog trying to swallow something, and then chasing her tail… I wish life was as simple as that…

I think I’m becoming much too selfish… Too self-confident… Too ungrateful…

And there goes the train of thought… >< Why must I be so hopeless with words?!

Though, watching a ball of fluff chase her tail is quite amusing, albiet distracting ^^

Anyways… God, I wish I could be deeper and more meaningful… I’m such a hopeless excuse of a human… *sigh*

For some reason, I’ve been feeling rather out of it… Not knowing what is happening, yet no longer having the burning feeling of curiosity…

To a certain extent, it feels good… I can go on without being bound to help others, and constantly annoy them with my concerns and worrying about everything… But, the way I am can’t coincide peacefully with that. I’ve become too outspoken, too confident. It won’t work, trying not to involve myself…

I guess, I miss the feeling of being trusted… Of being someone people might come to with problems…

I don’t deserve it though, I’m hopeless with dealing with other people… I’m hopeless with problems… I have no patience… And I’m just so thoroughly ugly and useless a person… One just needs to observe me at home to see that…

I wonder what will become of me in the future… Ridiculous expectations by family and friends seem unachievable… But, will I ever forgive myself for not reaching them? Will my own goals of becoming a better person be reached? I’m really scared that they won’t. I can’t seem to change what I do, how I act. My emotions run me, and I can’t seem to control them.

I want to be someone worth being. That will be my goal. And anyone can be my judge.

Random note… I almost always feel like this now… I just want to sit in someone’s arms, in their hug…

Freaking hell I ramble too much… I need to focus on work more… And my laptop needs to stop freezing… Or I need someone to talk to… Why am I so hopeless with people?!

 

Last day~

Leaving tomorrow!!

Enjoy your holidays!! I’m going to miss everyone sooooooo much

Love,
Ling

 

Hay fever

T_T… I don’t suppose sitting right next to a window with a strong wind blowing through really helps, but ah wells… ><

 

Anyways, GRR at small English mistakes… >< It’s really annoying to read, but I make them all the time… It’s rather depressing and hypocritical… ><

 

I packed for Europe today… It was strange… So many new clothing has been bought, just because of the trip… To a certain extent, I would rather go with my family, it’d seem more protected, and I wouldn’t need to be so self-conscious… Yet, friends make it even more interesting, as they can relate easier, in terms of ideas and attitudes at least.

I’m really scared I won’t bring enough stuff, or that everyone will think so much less of me for bringing something, or not bringing something… I dislike being so reliant upon other people’s opinions, yet, I can’t seem to help it… ><

 

Theirs is a stuffed up relationship… *sigh*… If/when it ends, the pain it shall cause… >< But then again, most cause a lot of pain…

 

I feel very… cynical… And scared… ><

 

Ah wells, I shall survive (hopefully… or maybe, unfortunately?) 

 

Gah… Headache… >< Shall stop now… >< Good night~

 

Complaints

Why must everything be now!?

Friday:
P5 – Music test
P6 – Japanese oral test

Monday -
P1 – History discussion, questions must be answer
P2 – Science test; Science prac due
P3 – Maths test

GAH… T_T I hate all this stuff… ><

AND FATIMA, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SENT ME YOUR SCRIPT… Otherwise… =.=

 

Anyways… I better get on with it, bye~

 

Please do my survey

This survey is for my Psychology thing, and I’m expected to have people do it… ==”

But since I’m not going to be here next week when we do other people’s in class, I can get other people to do it…

http://FreeOnlineSurveys.com/rendersurvey.asp?sid=e2e8iwr006qsnk0640118

Thanks~

 

Wordless

Long time no blog… I have no idea what to say these days… T_T

I rant and rave in my head, but it goes away when I start to blog, and I feel bad blogging mean things that aren’t true for me anymore…

I guess, I feel things a lot… Then it goes away… Nothing ever sticks these days… It’s strange…

A week to go… And here I am, procrastinating, not getting homework done, not getting packing done…

I feel as if the tour will be cancelled… >< But, they couldn’t… Could they?

 

I love that Moccona ad… xP

My goodness, Emma Watson is so pretty… Jealous… >.>

 

lolol… Yesterday, I did my debate… It was weird… I can’t debate… T_T

But, I’m not too bad at coming up with rebuttals… Which has made me realise that I over-analyse what people say/write… So, it’s not that difficult to come up with flaws in other people’s speech… >< Rather depressing actually… I shouldn’t be so mean… ><

And WOAH… Pro debaters are absolutely scary! O.O I didn’t realise how great some people were at debating… It was amazing… I was in awe…

I feel so hopeless at debating… >< Everyone talks so calming and collectively, and can convey their points so effectively… Me, I ramble and rant… T_T ><

Anyways, I should get back to my work… But, it feels nice to blog again ^^

Bye bye~ ^^

P.S. BRITISH ACCENTS!!! =D   (L)   Mmmmmm~~ ;D

P.P.S. 09/09/09… Lucky day apparently… So, yeah…

 

Goal

Well, I made myself a promise on the tram ride home today. I think I’ve already broken it, but I’ll try to do this for as long as possible. I know I’m not the sort who is able to keep these promises, but I shall try…

Bad English is really annoying… Especially when it’s almost right, but there is a tiny mistake somewhere. ><

I need something more to blog about… T_T

 

I’m sorry

If I crack it, and do/say anything that’s really rude/offensive or mean, I’m really sorry…

I don’t know what the hell is up with me, but I’m seriously effed up at the moment… >< My brain is really confused, and isn’t making sense of anything…

Please… I don’t think I deserve it, but if you could, please forgive me…

Thank you…